So you're going to the festival. But you're a little worried about your lack of film knowledge. What if you might end up chatting to some cute film geek in a ticket line, snagging an hors d' oeuvre with a foreign director at the closing night party or the microphone is passed to you at the Sean Penn press conference? Here's a primer for faking it - film fest style.

Make Blanket Statements about the Works of Obscure Countries
Claims like "No one knows cinema like they do in Addis Ababa" will set you way apart from the crowd. Whether your conversation partner is talking about an avant-garde documentary or 'Transformers,' whip out this stock line referring to your chosen hidden territory and prepare for a murmur of surprised awe to follow.

Use the Word "Dénouement" As Much As Possible
You don't need to know what it means, all you have to do is follow it up with an adjective and you're set. "The dénouement was remarkable,", "The dénouement was crisp,", "The dénouement was half baked with a side of mashed" - it really doesn't matter how you end it, the key is your impressive launch. In fact, any word with an accent ague will automatically put your conversation partner into a nodding frenzy, hoping to God they won't have to admit their naïveté.

Plant Names In Your Cell Phone Address Book
If you feel like someone may be onto your schemes and you're on thin conversational ice, whip out your phone and begin to text someone. When people start to inquire about the emergency, let them know that a good friend of yours is having trouble in the booth. The natural follow up will be "Booth? What? Who is this booth dude?" and your follow up will be to show them the text from your favourite director (whose name now appears whenever Mom texts). Boy will they be impressed when your cell screen reads, "Spielberg says: It's getting late, what time will you be home?"

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